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Title: I. Can't.
Fandom: Bleach
Pairing: Grimmjow/Ulquiorra
Genre: Humour
Rating: T
Status: Complete
Summary: Grimmjow, in denial? No way.


Theme #26: I. Can't. (PART TWO)

For renjisgirl12

Grimmjow was scarred for life.

Well, at least he should be, and he damned well better be. He had been perving on a guy, for crying out loud!

Now, why was this a reason to freak out? It was not like the guy was an eyesore, hell no. The guy was not an airhead either. And though Grimmjow had to admit that the guy was cold, it was probably his fault - what with his calling Ulquiorra a woman and everything. From what Grimmjow had witnessed from Ulquiorra's conversations with Gin and Rangiku, he was a perfectly nice person. So, there was nothing wrong with Ulquiorra, just... If you really want to know why, let's look at this short list now, shall we? It would help clear things up.

Guy liking a girl. Normal.

Girl liking a guy. Normal.

Girl liking another girl. Hot.

Guy liking another guy?




Don't even.

Don't even go there.

Granted, the guy looked like a chick, and he really thought that Ulquiorra was a girl, but still. It was just so fucking wrong. And the shock that he had gotten when he accidentally caught a glimpse of Ulquiorra's- Grimmjow groaned, his face red, and buried his face in his pillow, trying, without much success, to get rid of the image out of his mind. Wrong, wrong, wrong. He liked women. Tits and pussies. Women. Not men and dicks. The very thought of liking men as well sent a chill down his spine. Too weird.

The sound of the door creaking open, and following that, a sliver of light crept into his room.

"Night night, Grimmy-chan," came the voice of his father, Gin. The amusement in his voice was obvious. "Ya sure ya don't wanna join us downstairs? Aizen brought Ulqui along too."

Bastard was doing this on purpose.

Grimmjow kept his back to Gin, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing his face.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure."

"Alrighty then..." Gin chuckled, then closed the door.

Grimmjow could hear his father's footsteps fade away as the man went back downstairs to join Rangiku, Aizen, Hinamori and Ulquiorra for dinner. The teen gripped at his bed sheet tightly. Ever since that blind date, Gin took every opportunity he got to tease him. Rangiku was the same. And Aizen? Aizen was no better. Every time Aizen came over for drinks, he would bring Ulquiorra with him, and smile that frustrating smile of his. The bloody motherfucker.

Imagine how awkward it was for Grimmjow to have to talk to Ulquiorra face-to-face after such an embarrassing incident.

Well, it was embarrassing for him, at least. Just looking at that doll-like face and those now pants-covered legs (What a waste) made him groan inwardly. Even now, he could not help thinking about how nice it would be to run his fingers through that raven hair. And those lips... Why, oh why was Ulquiorra born with a dick? Someone up there must have made a freaking mistake when he decided to bestow Ulquiorra with a penis. Or maybe, maybe they had run out of pussies to give out and they only had one penis left. Yeah. That must have been it. Grimmjow nodded, trying to convince himself. There had been no pussies left, and there was a bunch of penises. Yeah. And when Ulquiorra was born, the first thing the doctor had said while he held Ulquiorra in his arms was;

"My, it's a miracle! A girl with a penis!"

Yeah. That was right.


Grimmjow sighed.

He was being absolutely ridiculous, he knew.

It was just... He was a guy, and so was Ulquiorra, so why was he...?

Though Grimmjow was obviously affected in Ulquiorra's presence, the latter, however, either did not notice the looks Grimmjow constantly gave him, or he simply did not care... Or maybe he had just plain forgotten about what had happened, and Grimmjow was the only one agonizing over this?

Grimmjow groaned once more and rolled onto his back.

It looked like he was not going to be able to go to sleep tonight. Staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, he could hear the sounds coming from downstairs – it seemed that Aizen, Hinamori and Ulquiorra were leaving. He sighed, trying not to think about Ulquiorra. He was not into Ulquiorra. He was not gay, bisexual, or anything that would lead to the possibility of him liking men. He was straight. Straight. Straight. Straight. Straight as a fucking arrow. Straight-

An image of Ulquiorra in a sexy French maid uniform popped into his mind.

... Fuck.

Cursing, Grimmjow sat up in his bed. The sound of Aizen's car starting up could be heard. That was it. There was no way he would be able to rest his mind until he settled this.

And there was only one way to do it.

Without even thinking, Grimmjow pulled a shirt on and ran downstairs, not even bothering to greet his parents. He burst out of the front door just as Ulquiorra was about to step into the car.

"Grimmjow?" Ulquiorra looked at him, surprised. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

"You." Grimmjow pointed a finger at him, breathing hard and glaring. "We're going to settle this right now, you and me."

"Excuse me?"

Growling, his face red, Grimmjow advanced on a confused-looking Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra's confusion only grew when Grimmjow grabbed the front of his shirt and lifted him up a bit, so that only the tips of Ulquiorra's shoes barely touched the pavement. Damn you, Cifer, Grimmjow thought, growling. Always looking so fucking sexy. It was not fair. Men were not supposed to be this beautiful.

"Grimmjow, what on Earth-"

"Shut up, Cifer," Grimmjow hissed. "And let me do this before I change my mind."


And that was when Grimmjow brought his lips crashing down on Ulquiorra's.

Ulquiorra did not react immediately. He stood there, frozen, for a few seconds, unable to believe what was happening. But once the fact that Grimmjow was kissing him sank in, he began to struggle. Grimmjow ignored him, though. Instead, he pulled Ulquiorra close and continued to kiss him, the kiss slowly growing hungrier. He bit, sucked and licked at pale lips, eased that mouth open and explored that wet warmth with his tongue, one hand fisted in a cotton shirt, and an arm wrapped around Ulquiorra's waist in an almost possessive manner. He was pleased to note that he managed to elicit a small moan from Cifer.

Once it was all over, Grimmjow pulled back, let Ulquiorra go, and smirked.

"Heh." He dragged a wrist across his lips, eyeing Ulquiorra's dazed expression with satisfaction. It was only a matter of time before Ulquiorra would snap out of it and beat Grimmjow within an inch of his life. "Thought so."

With that, Grimmjow turned, marched into the house and right up to his room, a smug aura practically radiating off of him.

He had passed the test.

He had kissed Ulquiorra Cifer, and he was not turned on by it.

Not one bit.


Grimmjow's grin widened.

He was as straight as a fucking arrow.

He was straight, not gay, not bi, not anything gross like that.

Yeap, yeap.

... He ignored the fact that his little friend in his pants was as straight as an arrow as well.


Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Jun. 22nd, 2011 04:16 pm (UTC)
Ohhh, denial... always amusing from Grimmjow XD

I wonder what the parents were thinking...?
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )